Change is hard. Like, really hard. At least for the important stuff. I would put diet and exercise on that list. There are always those people who make it looks so easy, you know who I’m talking about. Everyone knows someone. But I can almost guarantee you, no matter how nonchalant they act about looking great, there is always hard work and struggle behind it. I keep telling myself that every morning at the gym, especially during my hour of cardio. This will pay off.

I think the worst part for me is being a baker/cake decorator by trade. I work from home as well, so my cupboards and counter tops are filled with sugar-laced goodies. It’s like being an alcoholic who works as a bar tender. There are a lot of people who scoff at the idea of being addicted to food, but I guarantee that it’s the real deal. I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life, I don’t do drugs and drinking alcohol really has no appeal to me (other than a nice small glass of wine with a fancy dinner once in a while). Heck, even gambling seems boring to me…but going a day or two without chocolate or some other sweet confection, that is a different story.

I get irritable and moody. I can feel that itch…that little voice saying “Sarah, just get some ice cream and you’ll feel better.” After a few weeks it does go away. There are always reminders, though. I feel like the best way to relate would be for someone who has quit smoking to walk past a stranger on the street with a lit cigarette. They exhale, and you breathe it in. It’s like an old friend and you find a secret comfort in it even though you know it’s just a tease. This would be me, only I am taking a 8″ chocolate cake out of the oven for an order and all I want to do is crack it open and dive in. Not today, though. Not today.

I think this is going to have to change eventually as well. How am I supposed to live this healthy lifestyle while my career emphasis is butter, sugar and flour? I think in the end, the real goal would be to either move my business into a healthy niche or use my culinary degree in a different avenue. For now, while we live in Germany, I’m going to have to stick with this. Finding a job here as an American is very difficult and soon we will be moving back to the states.

So basically, I think this rant was more or less a reminder that excuses are just that. Excuses. We all have the same 24 hours each day. We just have to decide what to do differently to make the next ones better.